space and time
by Amber-Raven-Cahill
Summary: "And I hope that you'll understand, but I'm not sorry." In which Amy's not the perfect golden girl everybody thinks she is, and Ian wonders if he's becoming more like his mother.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Sorry for disappearing off the face of the world. But here's a oneshot to make it up to the rapidly disappearing 39 Clues fandom.**

* * *

**1\. Space and Time**

"_And I hope that you'll understand, but I'm not sorry."_

Amy pushed past a couple of random relatives, frantically searching for the one person that made her life heaven at times, but also hell.

If only he would _talk _to her, if he wouldn't _ignore _her, then everything would be fine. But then again, it wasn't his fault completely. This time it was on her.

After a little while, she finally found him. He stood in front of the fire place, back turned to her, the flames dancing around him, cascading down his broken body.

She knewhow he felt after Natalie died. She understood that he had no one left- no one, that is, except her.

So he was understandably broken when she told him in the heat of an argument that he was "always going to be the son of Isabel Kabra".

Ian knew that Amy was there. After two years of dating, it was hard to not notice the other.

"Ian?" she whispered. The room was devoid of anyone else- they were all mingling and trying to (unsuccessfully) speak to the head of the Madrigal branch, who wasn't there.

She grabbed his arm and turned him to face her.

She wished she hadn't. His face was pure fury, pure anger, and it was all directed to her. A lump of guilt and regret began rolling in her stomach, and it threatened to push up her throat.

"I-I'm so sorry, Ian. I didn't mean it like that."

"I think your meaning was quite obvious," the head of the Lucian branch snapped, bristling at her touch. "You can hardly get clearer than that."

"I only said it in the heat of the moment. You can't possibly believe that I would really mean it. I-"

"DON'T YOU GET IT?" he hissed angrily, twin amber eyes glinting in the light of the fire like two hawks. Ian gripped her wrists in his hands tightly.

It hurt, but she said nothing.

"Save it for the rest of the Cahills, Amy," he muttered. "It's not like they won't believe you. They always do, don't they?"

His unspoken words lingered in the air long after he left. It didn't take half a brain to decipher his cryptic words.

A girl was left standing at the fireplace watching the flames. Identical bruises circled her thin wrists.

* * *

_**A few days later.**_

"Hey Ian! What-" Dan stopped short at the sight of Ian's face. "Whoa. Dude. Calm down a little there. You might just burn down the house," he chuckled to himself.

"I'm leaving." There. He said it. Short and sweet and blunt.

"You're _what_? But what about Amy?"

"You can tell her later. It's… nevermind. I'm going to go collect my things, and then I'll be gone." Ian walked up the stairs to his guest room, the one Amy always reserved for him during those two-hundred-people reunions.

He slammed the door shut, and opened it two minutes and forty-three seconds late.

"Goodbye, Dan," he called from the front door.

"Wait, WHAT? YOU WERE SERIOUS? Hey man, c'mon, you're not-"

"Actually, I am," Ian told him. "I'm going back to London. You may expect me at the next branch meeting." He walked off towards the waiting taxi.

"But… dude, that's, like, six months away!"

"Exactly." His words were carried by the breeze to Amy, hiding at the side of the house.

Amy watched from her window in the house. Just before he got into the cab, he looked up and caught sight of her.

He gave her the last, sad smile she'd see from him for six months.

The cab drove away.

* * *

_**Ding! **_Amy's phone gave out a melancholy notification. She picked it up and found a message from Ian:

_Check your desk._

She

"I know. But I'm leaving, and there's nothing you can do to stop it."

He leaned in further towards her. "I need this space and I need this _time_, Amy. Those ten words… those ten words were few but they struck deep. Maybe I _am_ becoming somewhat like her. And for that… for _that_, I am truly sorry."

_And I hope that you'll understand, but I'm not sorry for leaving._

Those were Ian's unspoken words.

So she said nothing; only nodded and turned back to the house.

* * *

It was 2am, but Amy Cahill was still staring morosely out the window. Her gaze drifted once again to her wrists, glaring hatefully at the bruises on her wrist. She knew that Ian was angry.

But when he'd gripped her hands so tightly that he'd left marks on her skin, she couldn't help but remember the resemblance to Isabel Kabra.

Ian, who loved her, had still hurt her.

Isabel, who had loved Natalie, had still hurt her.

Maybe Ian was right. Maybe they _both _needed this space; this time apart from each other to reflect on their values, their rights and wrongs.

Would six months be enough to heal simple words and simple actions?

Amy wasn't sure.

* * *

Ian checked his watch. It was roughly 2am, American time. He really should have been asleep. But then again, Kabras- at least, the remaining one- were notorious for their insomnia. Even the smallest little thing could keep them wide awake through the light hours of early morning.

He cringed as he again remembered the dark marks on Amy's wrists. Marks that he'd caused himself. Ian sighed, rubbed his face, and sank back into that moment.

"_DON'T YOU GET IT?" he hissed._

_She didn't even flinch, just stared back at him with pain-filled eyes. Guilt swelled up inside of him, but the anger made him unswayable. _

"_Save it for the rest of the Cahills, Amy," he muttered. "It's not like they won't believe you. They always do, don't they?"_

The Lucian head winced yet again, but reliving the moment and letting himself feel the guilt was always better than locking his feelings away, like he'd done before.

It had been the Madrigal head who unlocked that drawer and taught him how to live.

She'd done that for two years. Two whole years, before the peace was shattered. Well. It wasn't a surprise, he supposed.

* * *

**A/N There will be a twoshot. ****Review if you liked this!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I apologize once more for making you guys wait for so long! But I'd actually wrote some on my phone, and then it got deleted, and…. yep. Warning: this is a terribly inconsistent chapter, but I didn't want you guys to wait any longer… sorry! Also, school's been hell recently, and I just about managed to finish this. It's horrendously written, but… yeah. It's closure.**

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_6 months later._

Amy closed her eyes, took a deep breath, turned the doorknob, opened the door, and walked through it.

Once inside, she avoided the stare of the Lucian Branch Leader like hell until she reached her chair. Hamilton let out a soft chuckle as she sighed, dumping her briefcase on the ground next to her and running her hand through her once- neat hair.

Still she couldn't look at Ian straight in the eyes. But she couldn't resist the urge to sneak a glance at him. So she did.

Perfectly done raven hair; piercingly sharp amber eyes. At the same moment, Ian turned to look at her, and like a deer caught in the headlights, she was trapped.

She hadn't seen those eyes in _six whole months_.

And she hadn't seen them so cold in two years.

Silence reigned, as the rest of the Branch Leaders realized that Amy and Ian weren't the same as they'd been the last time. The previous Branch Leader meeting had taken place seven months ago, in Tomas-Ekat territory.

The Lucian and Madrigal Leaders alike had been so happy, so full of smiles and laughter. Ian actually hadn't minded jeans, and when questioned, he explained that they were Amy's birthday gift to him.

Now look at them- they couldn't even say a single word to each other.

But the cold, Sinead decided, was worse than if they were angry at each other.

After another long pause, Jonah cleared his throat and started up the first issue they had to argue upon, and the quiet was broken.

* * *

Dan was waiting for her outside the door, and she came second last, greeted him, and then left.

He would have followed, but the sight of Ian Kabra leaving the room filled him with enough anger that he stopped, turned back around, and began a furious tirade.

"Good afternoon, Dan." Ian's civilized, peaceful voice did it.

"DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW BROKEN SHE WAS AFTER YOU LEFT?" Dan screamed.

Ian gritted his teeth. "And what about me?" he asked softly. "She was the one who started it, you know. I left for our own good. Six months should have been enough."

"I DON'T CARE IF IT WAS HER FAU-"

"HOW ABOUT ME?" Ian shouted back, voice hoarse. "DON'T YOU THINK I WANTED TO GO BACK? YOU CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE AMOUNT OF GUILT I WAS FEELING! I WANTED TO-" he cut himself off. "Anyway, it wasn't my fault," snapped Ian, despite the great amount of guilt welling up inside of him. Turning away from Dan, he started walking away, back to his room.

Dan glared at Ian's back in disbelief. "YOU MORON!" he shouted down the hallway. "You can't just walk away like that, you cowar-"

"Stop. Let him go." Amy appeared next to him.

The younger Madrigal paled. "How long were you standing there?"

"I don't know," she muttered. "Long enough to hear most of what he said, I think." The redhead paused. "Just let him go. He's right. It _is_ my fault."

Dan could see her slipping away from his reach and slowly entering the twisted land of memory.

"No," he said firmly. Grabbing her arm, he turned her back to face him. "Look, Amy," Dan gritted out, "I'm sick of you moping around like some patient. It's not like he died or something!"

Ignoring her warning glance, Dan ploughed on. "Just go talk to him- AMY! FOR GOD'S SAKE. I mean, look at yourself! If you want to leave him alone, then at least take a look at yourself first. You're so thin I feel like I could just _snap_ you in half. I don't care if what you said to him was hurtful. It's like you're slowly moving away from the world, isolating yourself- if you don't want to care about him anymore, fine, good, I don't care, but just _take care of yourself_. Nellie and I and Fiske aren't always going to be here."

Amy said nothing, but nodded and walked away.

The soft clunking sound of her heels hitting the ground grew gradually quieter as she made her way back to the comfortable confines of her hotel room.

* * *

She sat on her bed, put her face in her hands, and cried.

She cried until there were no tears left; until the fountain within her had dried, until she decided that she was done crying and stood up. Checking the papers she'd been given upon arrival, she found his room number.

She kicked the door shut behind her.

* * *

A slight knocking was heard at the door as Ian finished signing yet another required treaty between the Tomas and the Lucians.

Grumbling, he walked over to the door and opened it. Expecting to see Natalie, asking him to help her pick her outfit for tomorrow's Lucian branch gathering or a Lucian lackey; _anyone_ except the Madrigal leader.

No words were exchanged as he stared down at her. He'd never realized how short she was next to him.

"You know, I heard what you shouted at Dan," Amy said quietly. She swallowed hard, but continued on, words falling from her mouth like a raging waterfall. "I'm so sorry, Ian. It was my fault. I shouldn't have said that you would always be- I shouldn't have said anything about that topic."

"You should leave."

"Do you really want me to?"

Ian's heart was pounding faster and faster, and her voice, along with other sounds, was beginning to slowly fade into the background, and all he could think of was that _she was sorry_, that she was ready to make amends.

Without thinking, he grabbed her arm and pulled forward until he was kissing her, and tomorrow morning her lips would be painful as hell, but he didn't care, because Amy was here and sorry and still loving him.

His hands moved upwards from her waist to hold her face in his hands. The door was shut, and he leaned them against it, the cool of the hard wood seeping through her shirt.

"Screw dinner. I'm pretty sure everyone knows what we're doing. Let's stay up here." He wiggled his eyebrows, giving her a grin.

"That was a quick change of opinion. No, I'll stay here for thirty minutes more. You can shower in there, I'll just sleep on the bed."

"So… you don't want to-"

"IAN SHUT UP AND GO SHOWER. GOD KNOWS YOU TAKE LONGER THAN I DO."

"That hurts my feelings."

"Good. It was meant to."

"…Fine."

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**A/N I'M SO SORRY I KNOW THAT LAST PART COMPLETELY FELL OUT OF THEME WITH THE PREVIOUS SCENE(S), BUT I COULDN'T END WITH THEM LIKE THAT. **

**If you weren't satisfied with this, drop a PM or review and I'll reply.**


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